Culture VS Islam

Questions related to Islam.
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Aiooshii
Posts: 7
Joined: Wed Dec 04, 2013 3:29 pm

Culture VS Islam

Post by Aiooshii » Wed Dec 04, 2013 4:00 pm

AsSalaamu Alekyum My brothers & sisters.

I married my Syrian husband about 2yrs ago. I am a convert and try my best to be a strict muslim. I do not believe in modernizing islam, as it is already perfected.
My husband Alhamdu Lillah, is a wonderful muslim. But unfortunately his family prefer to follow their culture rather than islam. His brothers who live here have adapted to Canadian culture, and his family in Syria are following Syrian culture. My Husbands brother (who is non-practicing) recently married a practicing Syrian muslimah, who has come to live in Canada. Since they have married she INSISTS on talking to my husband, platonically. I told my husband it isn't a good idea, as they are not mahrams to eachother and he agreed, so I extremely kindly asked her not to text him anymore reminding her of the deen and she became very upset with me. Calling me names, asking if I thought I knew Islam better than her, saying I was jealous etc etc. She says he is her brother since she married into the family. I am extremely put off by how she sits with her brothers in law, laughing and being completely open. But her husband doesn't mind, as in Canadian culture as well as Syrian it isn't seen as a problem. Also his family thinks it is fine for them to talk.
I feel I am pressuring my husband into not talking to her, and putting him in an awkward position with his family by doing so.
i need some support to know what I am doing is correct, because I feel completely outcased by his family. I am seem either as overly jealous/protective or an extremist.
Her behavior has caused tension in my marriage for several reasons, and despite my wanting to have a friendship with her (even if it just be for the sake of Allah swt) I cannot even speak to her anymore.
anyone in a similar situation can offer a suggestion?
do you think asking her/my husband not to speak to eachother is correct?
is it OK to incorporate culture into islam, if it means sunnahs and fardhs are being compromised?
anyone know hadith or ayat supporting/not supporting my views?
Jazak Allah Khair and Salaam.

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Nisa
Posts: 701
Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2011 7:28 am

Re: Culture VS Islam

Post by Nisa » Thu Dec 05, 2013 3:28 am

WaAlaikumusalam Warahmatullah.

Sister Aisha, welcome to the forum.

What you describe is not jealousy in the form of the "green-eyed monster" or the kind that is harmful, however normal the emotion of jealousy is.

We ALL have to feel this protective jealousy, where its needed. In my opinion, only a senseless, shameless and mindless individual would allow any female/male to socialise or interact with their spouse or loved ones, in such a manner. I personally feel no SANE person would allow it, even if we were to put aside the fact that ISLAM DOESN'T allow it! However, as you've tried with your sister in law, then maybe you should ask your husband to do something. (Nicely, most men don't like being told what to do, LOL.).. Not to totally cut off ties, but to remain within the boundaries and to keep the socialising/talking etc to a minimum, and NOT alone, which texting, etc is. If your husband puts an end to it and doesn't cater to her approaches, i.e text messages and openly chatting, then maybe she'll get the message and back off, so to speak! Lol.

No, you are not wrong in any way to; not want this, to not allow this, to step up and say this, or to even feel this!!!

To answer your question, NO, its not permissible to incorporate any cultural or tradition that contradicts the teachings of Islam.

Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Keep yourselves away from non-mahram women.” One companion asked: “O Rasul Allah, tell me, can the husband's brother mix freely with his sister-in-law.” Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) replied, “He is like death for a woman.” [Sahih Bukhari]

To read:

http://www.islam-qa.com/en/125089

Also this, the question isn't the same scenario, but the answer is relevant. I hope it helps inshaAllah t'ala;

http://islamqa.com/en/ref/147287

May Allah t'ala keep the love and peace between you and your husband. May He make all things easy for you and all Muslims. Allahumma Ameen.

Hope I've helped, somewhat.

Nisa.
كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْقِتَالُ وَهُوَ كُرْهٌ لَّكُمْ وَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ وَعَسَىٰ أَن تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَّكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
"Jihad (holy fighting in Allah's Cause) is ordained for you (Muslims) though you dislike it, and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know"
- Quran 2:216

jeremiah
Posts: 7
Joined: Thu Nov 13, 2014 4:11 pm

Re: Culture VS Islam

Post by jeremiah » Sat Nov 15, 2014 3:36 pm

aiooshii,

i like coming here to share my faith. i'm christian, but i think nisa is right you can confront them , however you see fit. I love how you recognize islam is a way of life and not associated with culture, how many canadians feel that way,oooh about ZERO. I say that because that is how i see christianity and if in the future you should happen to believe yeshua(jesus) then the issue of culture wouldnt be a problem for you. I chose Christ over islam primarily because of the miracles of Christ, i felt they proved his deity. I hope your sister -in-law will be more understanding :)

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