can we marry in hereafter?

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humairah
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can we marry in hereafter?

Post by humairah » Wed Oct 26, 2011 1:23 pm

Hi

I fell in love with a boy 6 years ago. We were really serious about each other but our parents wouldnt allow it and he wasnt independent. He repeatedly asked me to do nikah with him in secret but I refused to go against my parents. My parents married me to someone else and I got divorced after 3 months with out consumating the marriage. After a while we (me and the boy I loved) started speaking again and said he is still ready to marry me. So for the past 4 years we lived beleiving we will end up marrying only each other, and that someday our parents will agree. We did have premarital relations before I got arranged marriage, but after I got divorce I didnt meet him too much and told him we cannot get physical anymore and that I couldnt lie to my parents to meet him. So we would speak on Skype, but we loved each other madly.

He died this month,a few days ago, at 25yrs, he fell off the 7th floor (not suicide). I am also 25. I put him through the pain (he cried endlessly) of seeing me getting married while he was alive but I will never do it again, whether he is alive or not. I do not want to think of any other man again and I have told my mother of it. She is okay with it now because she has seen how painful it was to see her (mom) in cancer, myself get divorced and now lose the only man I dreamt of. The only reason I am living is to make him proud that I will die sincere to only him. I am living now so that since he died single, and I will remain single till I die, we will be able to marry in the hereafter. My parents have vowed to support me financially, and I have asked my mother to help me adopt a child to have my own little family. I do not comprehend life any other way than marrying and living with him.

I repented for our sins of zina, I did an umra for him and one for myself and avoided any physical contact for the past 3 years. I am repulsed by the thought of any other man than him.

Please tell me, will we be able to marry in the hereafter? I am very happy only because I am looking forward to meeting him again and marrying him.

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MuhammadA
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Re: can we marry in hereafter?

Post by MuhammadA » Wed Oct 26, 2011 6:04 pm

Asalaam Alaykum,

Oh dear sister. I wish to answer your question. But Im not known to be gentle with my answers. Your question is quite emotional, so I fear you may feel offended or hurt by my answer.

The simple answer is no. In Islaam. As taught to us by our beloved Messenger (SAW) a man may be reunited with his wife, if they are both in jannah. The man you mentioned performed zina with you, for which he and you would of gained lashes.

If he had not repented for this sin before he died he may be punished by Allah. And you also. So dear sister repent while you can. Your parents also did wrong, if he was a good man they should have accepted this marriage proposal. But what happened was decreed by Allah, you must be thankful and move on.

The final outcome was, he did not marry you, so he was never your husband. Thus he can never be united with you in jannah. The bond of marriage sister is a sacred one, Allah values it for the muslims, this is why he has promised so much to the husband and wife.

You are probably very hurt by my comments at this stage. But I will only say one last thing, please pay careful attention. The feeling you have of not marrying ever again is a false one. Its nothing more than a whisper from shaitaan. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you, do not put yourself in uneccessary pain. Not all husbands are bad. A pious man will do you much good. And you will soon forget about this episode in your life.

Maybe you do not want to forget, as you feel its a duty for him. But remember oh sister. We are born for Allah, not for other boys or girls. Our duty in life is the worship and be grateful of Allah. As Allah says in the Quran, "I did not create the jinn or mankind except to.... worship me". So sister, that is your ultimate purpose in life.

Ask for his forgiveness, and your own. And seek a good man in marriage. You can find many, religious students of knowledge they are the best. Follow the example of your Messenger (SAW) who lost his wife Khadijah (RA). He loved no one more. Yet he moved on, he married again. And where would we be if he didnt? His marriages taught us so much, his wives became our mothers and guiding examples for us.

You can be the same, marry oh sister, a good man. And have your own children. Dont adopt, the adopted childen in islam are their parents, not yours. Islamically they cannot carry your name. And when they get older they will want a father, what will you say then? And dont worry about the hereafter, you will be given the best of men inshaa Allah. After that all thoughts will pass from your mind of someone else.

Please take this advice to heart sister. I wish the best for you, and all the muslims in your position. Also please remember me in your dua's.
مِّنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ رِجَالٌ صَدَقُواْ مَا عَـهَدُواْ اللَّهَ عَلَيْهِ فَمِنْهُمْ مَّن قَضَى نَحْبَهُ وَمِنْهُمْ مَّن يَنتَظِرُ وَمَا بَدَّلُواْ تَبْدِيلاً
"Among the believers are men true to what they promised Allah . Among them is he who has fulfilled his vow [to the death], and among them is he who awaits [his chance]. And they did not alter [the terms of their commitment] by any alteration" - Surat Al-'Aĥzāb : 23

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fake
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Re: can we marry in hereafter?

Post by fake » Wed Nov 16, 2011 12:19 pm

Jazakum Allahu Khayran Akhi for your reply.

"كُنتُمْ خَيْرَ أُمَّةٍ أُخْرِجَتْ لِلنَّاسِ تَأْمُرُونَ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ وَتَنْهَوْنَ عَنِ الْمُنكَرِ وَتُؤْمِنُونَ بِاللّهِ وَلَوْ آمَنَ أَهْلُ الْكِتَابِ لَكَانَ خَيْرًا لَّهُم مِّنْهُمُ الْمُؤْمِنُونَ وَأَكْثَرُهُمُ الْفَاسِقُونَ"
"Ye are the best of peoples, evolved for mankind, enjoining what is right, forbidding what is wrong, and believing in God. If only the People of the Book had faith, it were best for them: among them are some who have faith, but most of them are perverted transgressors."

Surah:3.Al-'Imran. Ayah:110

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