meeting the future inlaws

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Muallim1
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Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:21 pm

meeting the future inlaws

Post by Muallim1 » Sun Apr 17, 2011 2:49 pm

Assalam O Alaikum,

I am after some advice about how best to conduct myself when meeting my future wifes parents for the first time. I am a relatively new re-vert to Islam and want everything to go as well as possible inshallah.
Is it common to present a gift to the future inlaws or recite a Hadith? Can anyone offer me some advice.

Shukram.

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Nisa
Posts: 701
Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2011 7:28 am

Re: meeting the future inlaws

Post by Nisa » Mon Apr 18, 2011 8:22 pm

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh

"Peace be unto you and so may the mercy of Allah and His blessings"


Alhamdulillah on hearing about you reverting and Welcome to the world of Islam.

There is nothing I know of, nor that I have read or come across that suggests a specific thing to recite or say in such a situation.
However, it might be an idea to look into the family background of the traditions and customs they might follow regarding this. Islamically, the basic principle with regards to customs is that they are permissible, unless it is narrated in the Shariah(Islamic Law) that they are forbidden. The proof is as follows:

Shaykh ‘Abd al-‘Azeez ibn Baaz (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (6/510):

“What every Muslim must do is not accept customs blindly, rather he should measure them against sharee’ah. Whatever is approved of is permissible for him to do, otherwise he should not do it. The fact that people are accustomed to something is not evidence that it is permissible. All the customs that people are used to in their lands or tribes must be measured against the Book of Allaah and the Sunnah of His Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). Whatever Allaah and His Messenger have permitted is permissible, and whatever Allaah has forbidden must be abandoned, even if it is the people’s custom.( End quote)*

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Tafseer Soorat al-Baqarah 2 (299):

“Tradition does not make something that is not prescribed permissible, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “It is not Al Birr (piety, righteousness) that you enter the houses from the back” [al-Baqarah 2:189], even though that was their custom and they regarded it as righteousness. The one who takes something as a custom and regards it as righteousness has to measure it against the laws of Allaah.(End quote)*

I personally think you should TRY not to go totally empty-handed. If you are able, a box of chocolates or some flowers would go down well with your Mother-in-law and might keep you in her good books for a while. :D

Please let us all know how it goes.

*(http://www.islam-qa.com/ref 89642)
كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْقِتَالُ وَهُوَ كُرْهٌ لَّكُمْ وَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ وَعَسَىٰ أَن تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَّكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
"Jihad (holy fighting in Allah's Cause) is ordained for you (Muslims) though you dislike it, and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know"
- Quran 2:216

Muallim1
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:21 pm

Re: meeting the future inlaws

Post by Muallim1 » Tue Apr 19, 2011 8:19 pm

Many thanks Nisa, I really appreciate the advice.

Bless you,

Muallim.

Muallim1
Posts: 3
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:21 pm

Re: meeting the future inlaws

Post by Muallim1 » Tue Apr 19, 2011 8:22 pm

Muallim1 wrote:Many thanks Nisa, I really appreciate the advice.

Bless you,

Muallim.


Among the many things that can contribute towards peace and harmony is the virtue of helping each other in matters of goodness and piety, which is much demanded in Islam, because it brings about respect, love and brotherhood, and with this, there will be peace and harmony in the ummah.

This is in line with Allah’s command in Surah Al-Ma'idah (5): 2:

"And help you one another in righteousness and piety. But do not help one another in sin and transgression."

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