A Conversion Story

Christians believe Jesus is the son of God, God having become man and the savior of humanity.
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MuhammadA
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Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2011 9:58 am

A Conversion Story

Post by MuhammadA » Fri Jul 08, 2011 2:09 pm

Asalaam Alaykum,

I hope you are all well. Alhamdulillah, a brother I used to talk to recently accepted islam on #islam_chat. I requested from him his story, which mashaa Allah he provided in detail. His story is unique in many ways. I post it below in the hope that inshaa Allah it will benefit someone, and I will recieve reward.

Jazaak Allah Khair.
Your brother, Muhammad.
مِّنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ رِجَالٌ صَدَقُواْ مَا عَـهَدُواْ اللَّهَ عَلَيْهِ فَمِنْهُمْ مَّن قَضَى نَحْبَهُ وَمِنْهُمْ مَّن يَنتَظِرُ وَمَا بَدَّلُواْ تَبْدِيلاً
"Among the believers are men true to what they promised Allah . Among them is he who has fulfilled his vow [to the death], and among them is he who awaits [his chance]. And they did not alter [the terms of their commitment] by any alteration" - Surat Al-'Aĥzāb : 23

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MuhammadA
Posts: 137
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Re: A Conversion Story

Post by MuhammadA » Fri Jul 08, 2011 2:11 pm

Assalam Alaikum, I am [name removed] and this is, for the most part, my story on how I came to Islam.

I am 21 years old and I live in Florida although most of my life I've lived in Mississippi. When I was young, my parents were split on religion. My father, who was always playing some sort of joke, had no claimed faith. He was very spiritual though and encouraged me to be religious. My mother is a bit more firm and insisted that I be Catholic as she was.

She was so determined that I was baptized at birth like most Catholic children are and I was named after the St. Nicholas. However, growing up, being Catholic was easier said than done. The Masses were dull and there was no emotion in them so I couldn't help but, feel isolated from the God I believed in. I studied very diligently and tried my best to be faithful but, I had numerous questions that no one would answer. Questions about the trinity, why the bible had contradictions, and why this and why that. No one would answer, not even the priest.

A family issue arose when I was 11 and completely destroyed whatever faith I had left in Catholicism. I, taking the advice of my father, explored to find something that I could believe in and something that was better. This in a way was the beginning of the worst part of my religious growth. I read about and asked questions about various religions. Eventually I stumbled upon what I thought at the time was the most empowering of the faiths, Satanism.

I studied it, how it worked and, albeit I was young, I was sure at the age of 13 that it was what I needed to become better than what I was already. So I committed a right of blaspheme against the Catholic church and it's Trinity and literally signed an agreement with Satan.

I spent years learning and studying and praying in this faith. And I had many demons or jinn appear to me with things to offer. Things like answers to the unseen things of this world, power of will, wealth of different kinds. All of those things I could have if I did as they said in full trust and faith. So, being human, I agreed not knowing that it was a lie. By simply worshipping and doing what they said was needed to grow and learn I received what I wanted. I felt powerful because I could believe what I wanted. I was wealthy because, with a little work, I had a wonderful job. I felt I knew more because I could see and hear what others couldn't.

I would ask numerous questions about something though, like what happened when someone died, or why is it the Jinn needed me to make a sacrifice of myself for them to be able to show me things. Questions like that generally angered them and they would give vague questions or would leave and not answer at all. In either way, I felt ashamed for questioning them when they had proven so much. On top of that, the devout Christian population of Mississippi and even in Florida didn't take too kindly to people who claimed to have a faith like mine. It was very hard to make friends or to even answer simple questions like "Do you go to church?". I felt horrible that I was considered evil when all I wanted was a belief in something that made me happy.

After a few years, and after keeping my hobby for studying faiths, I met a muslim in my freshman year of college. He was very kind and funny and always made a joke of bad events. For the most part I found it amusing when he would read the Quran in Arabic, or I would be fascinated by the way he prayed. So when we became closer friends I asked him to teach me and he agreed happily. Along with listening to him read and explain the Quran and the reasons Muslims did what they did, I went online to research certain things.

The majority of my searches was over the things had heard about. The horrible Shariah laws and the Jihadists and Terrorists. I was dumbfounded when reading the actual laws or the actual meaning of the word jihad. Nothing was wrong with them in my opinion. Even the worst of the shariah laws were logical to me considering the time they were introduced to the world. So how could this faith get such a bad name? That's what I had asked myself and many others.

I had a number of friends that I met online join in when it came to teaching me. They answered my random questions as they came up. They didn't get angry when I said I didn't agree with something, even though sometimes I actually agreed despite saying I didn't. They even asked me a few times why I didn't convert. So much so that I got to where even I asked why I didn't. I had told most of them that if I felt Islam was right for me then I wouldn't hold myself back from converting. So, why not be Muslim? Why not just try it to see how it goes? Why worship beings if they wouldn't for sure tell me why I had to do things the way they told me to do them?

One day, my friend from college and several friends online had a suspiciously similar conversation with me. Each of the conversations ended with them asking me why I wouldn't convert. Every time I had no answer. Not even one I could make up or an excuse to get out of answering. The last friend that spoke with me explained in depth the 5 pillars of Islam and asked me if I would feel comfortable with applying them in my life. As a Satanist at that moment, I considered myself a pantheist. That is, someone who believes that everything is a result of the one God or Force that always was and always will be. So, my answer to my friend was yes. So he replied, "Why not give shahada now?" I gave him 3 different answers and each one he debunked. So I questioned myself again. Why not? I promised myself I wouldn't hold myself back if I found no reason not to convert. So why was I not? He asked a second time and I agreed.

The moment I agreed I felt horrified but, at the same time excited more that I think I ever had been. Horrified because the Jinn that I had worshipped were angry and I could tell because they made me physically ill and mentally drained when they weren't happy with me. Excited because I was going to see if Islam really was the 'truth' that I had been looking for. So, on March 25, I said shahadah on my own, in my room. The friend from the internet congratulated me and can honestly say I felt different the moment I said it. I at the time had been sick for a number of days but, within moments I felt fine. My hands were shaking and I had a stupid grin on my face, a grin that I kept since then. I asked the friend online about my friend from College. He had really wanted to see me when I had reverted since he had spent so much time teaching me. The online friend told me to go with my college friend to the mosque and surprise him by asking the Imam to help me say the shahada once again.

That is what I did. When we got to the mosque and the Imam had finished leading a prayer I told him that I wanted his help to say the shahada and to become a Muslim. He smiled and agreed and my friend from college was ecstatic. So, I said the shahada, repeating after the Imam in both English and Arabic. Immediately afterwards we prayed. It was the first time I had prayed as a Muslim and I will say that when I prostrated and my forehead touched the floor I couldn't rise back up. I sat and cried like a baby for everything that I had done wrong in my life and for everything that I had finally found.

When I was done, we finished praying and I asked the Imam what I should do next. He promptly told me to get a haircut because I looked ridiculous and since then I have had my college friend teaching me about the everyday things of Muslim life. How to do Salat, what is haram and halal, and other things. I will say that I am happy and truly happy. Not content as I was before but, actually happy. The Jinn that I had worshiped I know are still very upset but, they can no longer do harm to me and they, Insha'Allah, will not be around me much longer.

I am ashamed that I had let myself be fooled into worshipping Jinn who couldn't even tell me what they really were. However, I am happy that I was able to see and witness them and their lies first hand. I know what they look like, at least the ones that came to me, and what they are capable of. When they know they can fool you, they look kind and pleasant and make you feel safe. When they want more from you, more than just food or worship, but, actual blood and physical suffering, they appear as powerful as they can make themselves look. Awe inspiring serpents of huge sizes and intimidating beings that look like they're invincible. All of this is part of their lie because the moment you question them they turn into horrifying and ugly monsters; they torment your sleep and your health and can even physically harm you. A truly powerful being wouldn't have to play the boogieman for your worship, nor would they even manipulate your choice at all. They were no better than the priests that wouldn't answer my questions and would condemn me for thinking too much.

To finish this story, I will say that I am happy I am in a faith now that has Allah who is like none other and who is unable to be matched. No entity pretending nor idol raised up by people could compare to Allah and I am happy I know this now. I still have the stupid grin on my face, and I still cry sometimes when I pray. It has only been a few days so far but, I know that Islam is what I want for myself and I am certain that this will not change Insha'Allah.
مِّنَ الْمُؤْمِنِينَ رِجَالٌ صَدَقُواْ مَا عَـهَدُواْ اللَّهَ عَلَيْهِ فَمِنْهُمْ مَّن قَضَى نَحْبَهُ وَمِنْهُمْ مَّن يَنتَظِرُ وَمَا بَدَّلُواْ تَبْدِيلاً
"Among the believers are men true to what they promised Allah . Among them is he who has fulfilled his vow [to the death], and among them is he who awaits [his chance]. And they did not alter [the terms of their commitment] by any alteration" - Surat Al-'Aĥzāb : 23

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Nisa
Posts: 701
Joined: Mon Apr 18, 2011 7:28 am

Re: A Conversion Story

Post by Nisa » Sun Jul 10, 2011 4:33 am

Wa Alaikumusalam Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

SubhanAllah! May Allah reward you. Ameen

May Allah guide us all and help us to remain steadfast in our deen. Ameen
كُتِبَ عَلَيْكُمُ الْقِتَالُ وَهُوَ كُرْهٌ لَّكُمْ وَعَسَىٰ أَن تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَّكُمْ وَعَسَىٰ أَن تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَّكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ
"Jihad (holy fighting in Allah's Cause) is ordained for you (Muslims) though you dislike it, and it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing which is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know"
- Quran 2:216

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